Press Release Critique: Webjam, Just Another Piece Of White Bread?

Writing by Brick Marketing on Thursday, 8 of November , 2007 at 11:04 am

Today I thought I’d offer up a critique of an online press release I found at PRWeb Press Release Newswire. This press release is for a new Web 2.0 website called Webjam. You can see a screenshot of the press release on the left.

There are several things I like about this press release, but there are also a few things that I would have done differently. I’ll start with the press release title, or headline, and make my way down the page.

Press Release Title
The press release title could use a little work:

Webjam Launches the Place for You, Your Groups and Your Sites

While it does follow the traditional journalistic structure, it doesn’t really grab my attention. “Launches” is such a common term now for starting a website that few people even pay attention to it any more. Another thing this title fails to do is capitalize on a useful keyword. Theat weakens the SEO. You should never optimize your press releases around your company name unless you have a recognizable brand. A generic keyword that will have mass appeal is much better.

Press Release Writing
The writing on this press release seems a little stiff to me. It uses too much jargon and fails to really connect with its intended audience. That may be because the idea is not really anything new, but I think it’s really because the writer didn’t know how to put together a good press release.

PRWeb - Press Releases That Work

Webjam doesn’t seem to offer anything you can’t get somewhere. It looks like a play off of Squidoo to me. But that aside, the way I would improve the writing of this press release is to toss out the industry jargon phrases like “social publishing utility” and focus on selling the benefits. What would potential users of the site get out of using it? Also, on a site like this that seems to address needs that are currently be filled by other websites, you need to stress what makes you different, what sets you apart from the competition.

Again, the press release seems optimized around the company name. This is evidenced by “Webjam” being the anchor text for all of the links in the press release. I would recommend that you pick a key phrase that you want publicity managers at media organizations to key in on and optimize your press release around that phrase. Make at least half of your links in the press release anchored on that keyword text.

Other than that, I was glad to see the first word of the press release act as a link. That gets your brand right up front where it needs to be. Then you need to follow that up with a link in the last paragraph and the actual URL of your website, which the writers of this press release do.

Press Release Enhancements
The added element of the video in the top left corner of the press release is a good touch. It’s a great enhancement that more companies could use to illustrate the usefulness of their products. My only criticism of it is that this video is too long. Make it shorter, a sort of teaser for what you will actually get when you visit the company’s website. About 15-20 seconds is long enough for a press release. Take a segment of the full video to use for the press release and put the entire video tutorial of your product on your website. Somewhere in your press release, link to that video on your website. That’s a much better strategy.

I’m not sure what the graphic on the right is all about. The writing is too small to read and I can’t click the graphic to make it larger. I’d ditch it.

The contact information on the right side of the press release of course is good and has all the right information. The pull quote below the video, however, needs a little work. I like pull quotes and I highly recommend using them, but “swiss army knife” is an overused phrase used to describe anything that can do everything - which, of course, isn’t really true. Nothing can do everything, but there are useful tools that can do a lot. A little more creativity in the pull quote would be nice.

Further down, on the right side of the page, you’ll see attached files. I’m not sure who benefits from seeing the company logo. It isn’t necessary. Press people aren’t interested in seeing your logo. The screenshot of the front page is good and if users want to click on it to blow it up then they’ll see the same graphic that I spoke of above that isn’t necessary. Don’t put the same graphic in your press releases twice. Every element must be necessary or take it out. Just below the front page screenshot is the same graphic again. For the third time, it isn’t necessary and doesn’t add anything new. If you must add this graphic to the press release, this would be the place I would put it, however, because now I can click on it and see it as a larger image in order to be able to read the text. Finally, we get to see the Webjam founders. Nobody cares. Every element of your press release must be something that people will get benefit from. Otherwise, get rid of it.

I’d like to see how successful this press release is in getting the media attention they are seeking. If I was a press editor somewhere, I would likely lose interest in it. I’m not sure if this company is targeting only a regional audience (the UK) or if they are seeking a global audience. If the latter, they will likely not get very far. If the former, they could get a little publicity from this press release, but I wouldn’t think much.

For more on press release, visit www.nickstamoulis.com

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